Let’s face it, at some point in our lives we all are going to face adversity. Some of the challenges we face will be small. Other challenges we face will be large. No matter the size, I have a formula to help you overcome them all.
Personal Achievement – How to Overcome Adversity
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Frank_J_Jennings]Frank J Jennings
Let’s face it, at some point in our lives we all are going to face adversity. Some of the challenges we face will be small. Other challenges we face will be large. No matter what we say or how we act, there is no way to avoid them. In order for us to reach a comfortable level of personal achievement, we have to learn how to overcome adversity. In this article, I will be sharing a story with you full of tips on how to do just that.
Adversity
A few years back, I found myself in a slump at my job. My performance was so poor that if just one more thing didn’t go in my favor, I would have been moving back home to stay with my parents. If my manager didn’t like my posture, haircut, or tie color it was a wrap for my career. The odds were not in my favor. It was the bottom of the ninth with two outs and I was on deck to go against the best pitcher in baseball. I was down by 14. (I don’t play baseball.) Sorry for the sports analogy. It’s a guy thing.
There was nothing that could happen that would keep me from getting fired. Every night I would go home and start updating my resume while planning for what was going to be next with my life. The sad thing was I really loved my current job, I was just burnt out. I worked a lot of overtime, took on new projects, and was a great mentor for my peers. All of my extra effort had took its toll.
Commitment
Then one night, while overcome with frustration, I made a critical decision that I wanted my job and made commitment to do whatever was necessary to keep it. I thought to myself that there had to be something I could do to overcome these issues I was having. I refused to go down without a fight. I couldn’t walk away without giving it my all. The first step I took to overcome adversity was to make a commitment.
Evaluation
I took a few days off and spent some much needed time evaluating my strengths and my shortcomings. I needed to locate every particular facet of my behavior that worked in my favor and clearly identify actions that were detrimental to me. During this reflection, I realized I was extremely productive during the early part of my shift and failed to maintain accuracy and focus as the day went along. I learned that I found pleasure in helping other achieve their goals but didn’t put a lot of energy into reaching my own. I discovered that my poor performance was due to a lack of continual motivation.
Strategy
With all the information I had gathered from my time off, I went back to work with a clear plan. Since I knew I was most productive during the beginning of my shift, I put all of my energy and effort on the things that required a critical eye and a lot of energy right at the start of my day. I did everything I could to reach or get ahead of my daily production goals as soon as the day began. Then as the working day progressed, when I would start to lose focus, I would take some time and go mentor my peers. While helping my peers, I noticed my energy level picked up and I was more excited about the remainder of the day.
Adjustments
As more time passed and my performance was starting to improve, I began to re-evaluate my new habits. This allowed me to improve on the things I was doing well and get rid of things that were not as successful. I focused on improving my processes and not only on the overall outcome. With this new focus, I was able to develop a consistent path for continual improvement. When things went wrong, I wasn’t fearful, I just adjusted my plan.
When it comes to personal achievement, overcoming rel=nofollow [http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/the-purpose-of-adversity/]adversity is one of the greatest tools in your belt to help you build the life you have been dreaming of. Through my own personal experience, I have learned a formula that has allowed me to thrive in challenging situations. For your convenience, I have provided it below:
Recognize the Adversity
-Specifically identify what you need to overcome.
Make A Commitment to Overcome It
-Don’t just say you want to overcome, commit to it.
Evaluate Your Situation
-Recognize how you got in this situation and determine what it will take to get out of it.
Make A Strategy
-Don’t go into a battle without a plan. Be very strategic in every aspect of your life. Plan to overcome.
Readjust As Necessary
-Make sure you take the time to improve the things that are working well and get rid of the things that don’t.
Adversity comes to make us stronger. The next time a challenge comes your way, don’t be afraid to step forward and accept it. I know you can handle it.
Frank Jennings is the founder of A Spark Starts where he writes life changing [http://www.asparkstarts.com]inspiring stories to help others reach their full potential. This site is full of compelling stories based on the specific situations that we face in our lives. Stop by today and read about overcoming adversity, parenting, relationships, health, endurance and many other relevant and timely topics.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Personal-Achievement—How-to-Overcome-Adversity&id=6906848] Personal Achievement – How to Overcome Adversity
8 Crazy Beliefs That Screw Up Your Life – Part 1
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Sharon_S._Esonis,_Ph.D.]Sharon S. Esonis, Ph.D.
“The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.”
Flora Whittemore
Our beliefs about ourselves, others and the world have a profound impact on the quality and control we have in our lives. Beliefs often develop without our knowledge or approval. Our perceptions and interpretations can become fixed entities to which we strongly attach and which we fiercely protect. Our beliefs evolve through many sources: what we’ve been taught; experiences that we have had and our interpretations of those experiences; what we learned to fear and what significant people in our lives have modeled for us. Beliefs generally aggregate in what I call “Thematic Belief Systems,” such as one’s need to be approved of or to be perfect with specific sub-beliefs that define the theme.
By identifying and changing these debilitating assumptions individuals can find their own voices and become healthier and happier. I refer to these beliefs as crazy beliefs since they foment nothing but trouble. Most of the people with these beliefs are not crazy in the clinical sense, but they’re definitely not thinking straight and the consequences they experience can be very upsetting and debilitating. Sometimes they may even think they’re going crazy!
Marshall McLuhan, the Canadian educator, philosopher and scholar, maintains that “most of our assumptions have outlived their usefulness.” Unfortunately, people seldom take a hard look at their beliefs and weigh whether they are based in reality, serve them well or cause paralysis and distress. Thematic Belief Systems offer a framework for interpreting the events we experience. Since our beliefs play a large role in defining our reality, our decisions, and our behavior, it behooves each of us to take stock of our thinking patterns frequently and thoughtfully. Keep in mind that the more entrenched a belief becomes, the greater the difficulty in questioning or changing that belief. Interestingly, because infants do not yet possess the ability to formulate opinions and have the automatic awareness to comprehend, and manipulate what goes on in the cognitive domain, they don’t have emotional biases. Animals, as well, are free of these biases. Their actions are governed by evidence and reason alone – not opinion, interpretations and assumptions.
Our beliefs are often challenged when information comes our way that is antithetical to how we see things. When there is a discrepancy between what we have come to believe and the new information that contradicts these beliefs, we often experience a state of confusion and discomfort. This phenomenon is known as cognitive dissonance.The human tendency when this occurs is to relieve the discomfort by reaffirming the original belief. The approach is either to consider more credible the ideas that support the current belief or to focus on ideas that refute the new information. There is, however, a healthier choice- that is to be open to the new information and identify ways to accommodate it into the current belief system or to be willing to change your belief entirely if that’s indicated. In this way you update your beliefs so that they become more realistic and empowering.
When we address our current beliefs, asking such questions as: is there enough evidence to support this belief, what limitations do I experience because of thinking this way and how do these beliefs affect my relationships and functioning, we have the opportunity to decide if modifications to our thinking are in order.
The 8 Thematic Belief Systems:
Adversity: Experiencing adversity is unfair, frightening and demoralizing
Approval: I need the approval of others to feel good about myself and to feel safe.
Dependency: I need or want to depend on others.
Expectations:People should be the way I want them to be; my life should be the way I want it to be.
Fear: My life is governed by fear, so I have to worry about and avoid those things that scare me.
Happiness: My happiness depends on the circumstances in my life and how other people treat me.
Perfection: It is vital for me and those I care about to be perfect
Victim Mentality: My problems are caused by others or by circumstances
Marcel Proust, the French novelist and critic wisely tells us, “the real voyage of discovery consists not in seeing new landscapes but in having new eyes.” Adopting reality-based, healthy beliefs is a smart place to start for those who are disappointed in their lives or who simply want to make some needed recalibrations. I encourage you to make the decision to identify, challenge and change beliefs that no longer work. I can promise you that you won’t be sorry. In Part 2 of this article, I’ll examine each of these belief systems in more detail.
Sharon S. Esonis, Ph.D., has spent close to three decades helping individuals thrive and improve their lives through her work as a licensed psychologist, author and life coach. An expert in human behavior and motivation, Dr. Esonis specializes in the burgeoning field of Positive Psychology, the scientific study of optimal human functioning and the core strengths that can lead to the achievement of one’s personally-defined goals.
Her most recent book, “8 Crazy Beliefs That Screw Up Your Life; Change These Beliefs and Become a Healthier, Happier Person.” examines eight debilitating “thematic belief systems” that can have a profound impact on the quality of life. The print edition is available on CreateSpace.com and Amazon.com., and the e-book edition is available on Smashwords.com as well as in Kindle format.
Dr. Esonis earned her doctoral degree at Boston College and currently maintains a life coaching practice in the San Diego area. She also teaches Positive Psychology in the Extended Learning Program at California State University San Marcos. To learn more about the power of Positive Psychology and to order her latest book, visit her website at [http://www.PositivePathLifeCoaching.com]http://www.PositivePathLifeCoaching.com.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?8-Crazy-Beliefs-That-Screw-Up-Your-Life—Part-1&id=6907354] 8 Crazy Beliefs That Screw Up Your Life – Part 1
8 Crazy Beliefs That Screw Up Your Life – Part 2
By Sharon S. Esonis, Ph.D.
In Part 1 of this series of two articles, I introduced the idea that our beliefs about ourselves, others and the world in which we live have a profound impact on the quality and control we have in our lives..Now let’s examine the specific beliefs that cause so much trouble in so many lives.
Adversity: Experiencing adversity is unfair, frightening and demoralizing.
There are many people who truly believe that their lives should be free from mistakes, failures, traumas, crises, personal limitations, obstacles and all prickly problems. They have the notion that when adversity occurs, life isn’t treating them fairly, or they interpret the dilemma as indicative of some personal deficiency. They may think they don’t have nor will ever have what it takes to cope with difficulties, so adversity takes on the persona of the boogie man. This set of beliefs can be quite debilitating because the message is that you are powerless.
Adversity touches every one of us. No exceptions. I remember long ago I met a young woman in her late 20’s who had lived an idyllic childhood, no problems, no trials and tribulations. Sounds great, right? Life hit her hard with the unexpected death of her brother who was just a few years older than she. She fell apart, really fell apart. Now I’ll grant you that something that terrible would greatly affect any loving sister. But because she had never had to handle anything difficult, she was poorly prepared for a tragedy of this magnitude. She was probably poorly prepared for any major upheaval. She had not learned the skills to help her cope and bounce back. It’s true that we do our children no favors by protecting them from many of the distressing circumstances that present important opportunities for them to learn how to be resilient. Childhood is about being in training to handle what comes later in life.
Approval: I need the approval of others to feel good about myself and to feel safe.
There’s a rarely discussed addiction that can be as enslaving as drugs and as devastating to self-respect, self-confidence and healthy functioning as alcoholism. It promotes failure and disappointment, wastes time and energy, and fosters dependence, anxiety, depression and exhaustion. If this is your drug of choice, you can expect a life where you are trapped in the stress zone.
When you care too much about the acceptance and applause of others you give your power away. Just as the junkie who craves drugs is controlled by dependence on the substances, the approval addict who craves validation and appreciation is dependent on the whims of other people. Trouble for sure. Dependence is a slippery slope. You find yourself relying on others, hoping they will treat you with the same kindness and consideration they wish for themselves. Dependency enslaves you, giving others the ultimate power over how you perceive and feel about yourself.
Dependency: I need or want to depend on others.
Human beings thrive when they have close and interdependent relationships. On one hand, these relationships are about being your own person, and on the other hand, being connected in healthy ways to others. Dependency is a very different matter. When individuals rely on others to do for them what they can and should do for themselves, they shift the control of their lives to other people. This makes it difficult for them to develop their own identity and to fulfill their own potential.
The dependent person becomes enslaved by needs and fears. In many areas she becomes unable to take the risks that lead to life’s successes and rewards. With dependency, fears grow and self-confidence shrinks day by day. A person’s locus of control — who or what manages an individual’s life — comes from outside. The dependent person’s life is really not her own. She has relinquished her power to others, which so often impedes her chances of being genuinely happy.
Expectations:People should be the way I want them to be; my life should be the way I want it to be.
There is a hidden source of power or pain that often goes unaddressed by many individuals. The truth is, expectations can have a far-reaching impact on how people live their lives and the rewards and successes they reap along the way. Expectations are assumptions about the future – what will occur or what should occur – and they can profoundly influence your relationships, your self-confidence, your happiness and your ability to navigate your path in life.
What a huge mistake it is to ignore, deny or simply cling to expectations that have little or nothing to do with how things really work. Expecting too little or too much, or expecting inappropriate things of ourselves, other people in our lives and the world in which we live, can cause utter chaos. Unrealistic expectations can set you up for disappointment, ineffective behavior and even depression. Expectation minus reality = frustration. Our self-talk, moods and feelings are often governed by the frustration that results when what we expected would or should happen does not happen. Unexpected outcomes can seriously undermine a person’s motivation and zest for life.
Fear: My life is governed by fear, so I have to worry about and avoid those things that scare me.
For too many individuals, fear is paralyzing and, when allowed, can rule with an iron fist. The internal world and actions of a fearful person are governed by a phantom tyrant. Many of us capitulate to its perceived power, often without much resistance. This capitulation to fear is malignant to the human spirit, robbing one of dignity, happiness and hope. The power it wields is shear chicanery, existing only because an individual acquiesces, becoming its prisoner.
What are these fears that immobilize and debilitate us needlessly? Some people fear making mistakes, or even more catastrophic, failing in any way. Just the thought can generate a panic attack. Others will do just about anything to avoid disapproval, embarrassment or rejection. Then there is fear of the unknown, which, of course, is far reaching since there are so many unknowns in life. There’s fear of success — what an action-stopper that can be. Some people are afraid of both failure and success! Fear of change and the possible loss of control that can accompany it, even if for a short time, can profoundly intimidate some people. And on and on it goes. Some folks move from one fear to another and another and another.
Happiness: My happiness depends on the circumstances in my life and how other people treat me.
Many of us have beliefs about happiness that just don’t square with reality. Some of the research findings on happiness may well seem counterintuitive. That’s the thing about research, sometimes it discovers expected relationships and sometimes it discovers relationships that are hard for us to fit into our philosophy about how things work.
Keep in mind that just because you believe something doesn’t make it so. Just because you think you know how things work doesn’t mean that you do. The research on happiness has given us many substantial clues on how we can increase our levels. Many of these findings don’t support commonly held beliefs about the sources of happiness.
Let me give you an example of a mistaken belief. Many people think that circumstances such as how rich or healthy you are contribute greatly to their happiness. Not true. That’s right, our circumstances only account for 10% of our happiness! In my Positive Psychology classes, students respond to this information with disbelief, even deep dismay. The information is unsettling. It’s understandable that some people find this disturbing when they’ve attached their hopes to the specific circumstances they believe will bring joy to their lives.
Perfection: It is vital for me and those I care about to be perfect.
Many people believe that being perfect according to their definition is the way to live their lives in order to be highly successful, very respected, even wildly happy.
Unfortunately for them, this particular set of beliefs engenders a way of life that’s more likely to foster depression, difficult relationships, and fewer and more limited accomplishments. Perfectionism is an unhealthy way to live. I’ve witnessed the emotional turmoil of too many people who’ve acquired this particular belief system with its self-defeating expectations. Believing that only one outcome (the perfect one!) is acceptable is incompatible with emotional health and well-being. I’ve worked with many perfectionists over the years and have found that convincing them of the insidiousness of this particular mindset presents quite a challenge.
If you’re a perfectionist, changing your beliefs, expectations and behaviors won’t be easy, but it will open the path to greater health, happiness and self-confidence.
Victim Mentality: My problems are caused by others or by circumstances.
Casting yourself in the role of the victim in your inner world and in your public persona is a straight shot to pain, disappointment and ineffectiveness. This misguided approach marginalizes your capacity to live a fruitful, powerful and rewarding existence. It restricts your options, blocks your ability to make your goals and dreams come true, and can weaken your confidence in yourself. Believing you are a victim and acting like one can have seriously negative effects on your relationships. People who immerse themselves in the victim role are not much fun to be around!
Martin Seligman, the world-renowned Positive Psychologist, explains that “victimology” — blaming our problems on other people and circumstances — is directly related to the concept of “learned helplessness.” Learned helplessness, often a major factor in depression, is a well-documented phenomenon in which an individual does not believe that his/her actions matter in terms of how things turn out. The victim believes that events and circumstances are controlled by external forces rather than by his choices and actions.
Sharon S. Esonis, Ph.D., has spent three decades helping individuals thrive and improve their lives through her work as a licensed psychologist, author, college faculty associate and life coach. An expert in human behavior and motivation, Dr. Esonis specializes in the burgeoning field of Positive Psychology, the scientific study of optimal human functioning and the core strengths that can lead to the achievement of one’s personally-defined goals.
Her most recent book, “8 Crazy Beliefs That Screw Up Your Life; Change These Beliefs and Become a Healthier, Happier Person.” examines eight debilitating “thematic belief systems” that can have a profound impact on the quality of life. The print edition is available on CreateSpace.com and Amazon.com., and the e-book edition is available on Smashwords.com as well as in Kindle format from Amazon.com
Her previous book, “It’s Your Little Red Wagon… 6 Core Strengths for Navigating Your Path to the Good Life (Embrace the Power of Positive Psychology and Live Your Dreams!),” is Dr. Esonis’s contribution to the field of Positive Psychology, presenting proven success factors and strength-building techniques that can lead individuals to a life of purpose, motivation and happiness. It is available on Amazon.com.
Dr. Esonis earned her doctoral degree at Boston College and currently maintains a life coaching practice in the San Diego area. She also teaches Positive Psychology in the Extended Learning Program at California State University San Marcos. To learn more about the power of Positive Psychology and receive a free chapter from her latest book, 8 Crazy Beliefs That Screw Up Your Life, visit her website at http://www.PositivePathLifeCoaching.com.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Sharon_S._Esonis,_Ph.D.
http://EzineArticles.com/?8-Crazy-Beliefs-That-Screw-Up-Your-Life—Part-2&id=6912404
Vision boards are a great way to find your way in life. The more focused and narrow your vision board is the more positive changes that you will find in your life.
Vision Board Strategies
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Marita_Steffe]Marita Steffe
When it comes to making vision boards it may be tempting to just jump in and begin collecting things that catch your eye. But if that’s how you go about it you may just end up with a really attractive collage instead of a helpful and enlightening vision board. There are certain vision board strategies that will help you get to the root of the matter and streamline your creativity into a useful tool for discovering the things you need in your life.
First decide what sort of vision board you want to make. If you want to create a career vision board to help you make changes in your work life or if you want to make a board to help you find a loving relationship the items you place on them will be quite different. Take the time to meditate on the subject that you’re seeking enlightenment on before you begin collecting images to place on your board.
Once you have specific thoughts in your mind then you can begin searching for items to put on your vision board. If you’re making a career board but keep finding items that relate to relationships that draw you then you may want to stop and start over on that kind of board. Your heart and soul will direct you to what you need to work on the most, even if that’s different from what your mind tells you to begin with.
Think positive thoughts and allow your inner desires and passions to come out while you are selecting items. Suppose you are an extremely responsible professional person, but when you are looking at items for your board you keep being attracted to whimsical or carefree images then that is a signal that you need to loosen up and find some fun in your life. The images and quotes that touch you are the ones that you will want to include on your board, not necessarily the ones you think belong on a specific type of board.
Your mind will try to make you want to choose safe images with little change, while your heart and soul may be crying out for freedom, passion and happiness. That is because your mind is concerned with safety and survival while your soul and heart are free to seek happiness and creativity despite the challenges that may be presented.
A vision board can be quite helpful if you make it a point to narrow down the type of board you are making and allow yourself to honestly and freely choose the items for the board by what they make you feel rather than what you think you should include. Your vision board is a personal thing and there is no right or wrong, but there are strategies you can employ to make sure that you get the most out of your board.
Marita Steffe would like to invite you to explore your creativity.
There are times in life where everything feels stuck and stale, especially later in life. Use this time to explore and try something new. If this is of interest to you, visit [http://visionandwords.com]http://visionandwords.com, where you will find videos, project guides and lot’s of books to help you get into the creative habit.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Vision-Board-Strategies&id=6901032] Vision Board Strategies
